Monday 29 April 2019

"Mechanical" Narrative Shared Writing



WALT Describe the characters
WALT Describe the setting
WALT Write a conversation between two characters
WALT Write the next part of the narrative

Remember to use:
Powerful adjectives, adverbs and verbs
Figurative language (similes, metaphors, onomatopoeia and personification)
Interesting nouns (names, places and objects)
Speech marks
Compound sentences (FANBOY)
Complex sentences (which, while, as)
Variety of interesting sentence starters and sentence structures

Paragraph 1 (Describe the setting and a character)
On an island in the middle of a harbour, machines work day and night to sort through piles of metal. Clouds of filthy, choking dust rise up from debris that have been twisted into unrecognisable shapes. A charcoal steel claw reaches into one pile like a child grabbing fistfuls of sweets. As the claw slowly pulls its load from the ground, the rest of its massive, hideous body is revealed. The ominous mechanical crane dominates the island and towers over all other machines. A spotlight on top of the crane swivels from side to side, like a giant eyeball carefully scanning for any signs of trouble. At its back, a pair of gears with wicked-sharp spikes spin. Even though it’s a dazzlingly bright day, the presence of the crane makes you feel like all of the freedom and joy has fled this cramped, smelly island.

Paragraph 2 (A conversation between 2 characters)
Gazing wistfully at the metropolis in the distance, a cute, little digger sighs with resignation. It wonders if it will ever leave the dreadful drudgery of this island.
“Are you thinking of escaping again?” asked the little digger’s only friend, the rumbling bulldozer.
“Don’t do it,” the older rusty machine whirrs in warning, “You know what the guards will do to you if they catch you!”
The young, amber machine looks down and picks listlessly at the rubbish by its treads.
“I can’t help it. Staring at that glorious city every day and night when we’re trapped here? Don’t you just wish we could break free?”
“Oh, little digger, I just want to survive,” the bulldozer wheezes as it slowly rotated away from the glittering skyscrapers, “and that only happens if we do what the guards want.”

As its friend crawled back to work, the digger sighs wistfully again. “One day…” it whispered to itself.

Paragraph 3 (Problem = Hiding from the guard and escaping)
Suddenly, a stack of aluminium pipes and lead barrels clattered to the ground beside them. The little digger and the old bulldozer immediately stop in their tracks. They know what’s going to come soon...who is coming.

“Hide!” cried out the older machine in absolute terror.

Reversing into the shadows, the two petrified workers do their best to (hide) blend in with the junk and scraps. A glowing scarlet bulb burns away the gloomy darkness and illuminates the cramped space. The light was attached to a...



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